At many times during my journey, this life has broken me. I have been torn apart by betrayal, abuse and loss and have felt the abyss of despair so deeply that at times I really wasn’t sure how or even that I would survive. In his book, Ego is the Enemy, Ryan Holiday refers to these times as “Fight Club Moments”. Ryan offers that “Every great or significant life change comes from an event in which a person is thoroughly demolished, and everything they thought they knew is proven untrue–and from there they have to decide whether to get back up or stay on the ground.” This concept has so resonated with me, as throughout all I have experienced I have never viewed myself as a victim and I have always looked for meaning in the soul crushing chaos of my emotions. Even during the most devastating of circumstances, and I have had a few, I trusted that someday it would all make sense, that there was, in fact, a method to the madness and that if given some time, the lesson would become clear and that I would be better and maybe even stronger for having survived.
It blows my mind that it is so easy for people to dismiss or label as “Woo-Woo” or whimsical those who say things like “everything happens for a reason” or “there’s always a silver lining”” and fashionable to even ridicule and reject the idea that one becomes stronger by taking responsibility for everything in their lives, yes, even the things that majorly suck. Some self-proclaimed “experts” claim that this mindset can be viewed as dismissive to the process of grief. I have read and heard it said that this kind of help doesn’t really help at all.
As I take a pause, take a beat and take a breath, let me say I fully, wholeheartedly and unequivocally disagree. I have dived headfirst into the abyss, leaned way deep down into my darkness, cried myself into exhaustion and given myself permission to accept and to experience my grief in whatever way it chooses to manifest: Depression, Anger, Despair, Isolation, Tears, Rage. Yes, yes I have felt them all, deeply, to my core and I have grown stronger from knowing that the wave of pain does eventually subside and have found within these “Fight Club Moments” and all this brokenness that accompanies them, there is a gift. Don’t get me wrong, these devastatingly life altering moments are not fun, they truly are awful to say the least, but if you allow it, this gift will come you when the storm has passed and when the wound has healed. It arrives in the form of deeper self-awareness wisdom, strength, self-love, compassion, empathy, clarity, faith, acceptance and forgiveness. It comes from owning your feelings and taking full responsibility for your choices. In truly understanding and embracing that everything really does happen for a reason.
This is my truth. I own it. This deep dive journey and taking responsibility for all the events in my life have allowed me to embrace myself completely and has led me to my most profound healing and the ability to take back my power. I take responsibility for everything that happens in my life and I believe it takes courage, faith and a sprinkle of optimism (look for that silver lining!) to see that regardless of all the pain, there is always valuable treasure if you just look.
It blows my mind that it is so easy for people to dismiss or label as “Woo-Woo” or whimsical those who say things like “everything happens for a reason” or “there’s always a silver lining”” and fashionable to even ridicule and reject the idea that one becomes stronger by taking responsibility for everything in their lives, yes, even the things that majorly suck. Some self-proclaimed “experts” claim that this mindset can be viewed as dismissive to the process of grief. I have read and heard it said that this kind of help doesn’t really help at all.
As I take a pause, take a beat and take a breath, let me say I fully, wholeheartedly and unequivocally disagree. I have dived headfirst into the abyss, leaned way deep down into my darkness, cried myself into exhaustion and given myself permission to accept and to experience my grief in whatever way it chooses to manifest: Depression, Anger, Despair, Isolation, Tears, Rage. Yes, yes I have felt them all, deeply, to my core and I have grown stronger from knowing that the wave of pain does eventually subside and have found within these “Fight Club Moments” and all this brokenness that accompanies them, there is a gift. Don’t get me wrong, these devastatingly life altering moments are not fun, they truly are awful to say the least, but if you allow it, this gift will come you when the storm has passed and when the wound has healed. It arrives in the form of deeper self-awareness wisdom, strength, self-love, compassion, empathy, clarity, faith, acceptance and forgiveness. It comes from owning your feelings and taking full responsibility for your choices. In truly understanding and embracing that everything really does happen for a reason.
This is my truth. I own it. This deep dive journey and taking responsibility for all the events in my life have allowed me to embrace myself completely and has led me to my most profound healing and the ability to take back my power. I take responsibility for everything that happens in my life and I believe it takes courage, faith and a sprinkle of optimism (look for that silver lining!) to see that regardless of all the pain, there is always valuable treasure if you just look.
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