This is the time of year, once again that we see coaches, lifestyle consultants and a myriad of Facebook memes reminding us of the pressing need to make ‘realistic’ resolutions and offering all kinds of ways to stay on track with them.
Nope. Not me. Not This Year.
The way I look at it, at least for me, it’s pretty pointless waiting all year to decide on one or two things that you kinda, sorta , maybe want to stop or start doing, but that you know full well you’re not really committed to following through with it anyway. Yet year after year in an effort to fit in, combined with a dash of good faith and then sealed with a kiss, poof, just like that; a resolution is born. After a few weeks, we all know what happens. The excitement subsides, the glitz, glimmer and sparkle have lost their shine. We pucker up once again, and kiss our resolutions goodbye. In what seems like a New Year’s minute, our grand intentions are replaced by feelings of failure and we suffer a self-imposed hit to our self-confidence.
So starting this year and for every year hereafter, when presented with the question “So what’s your New Year’s Resolution?” My answer is simple. My answer will be “None “.
Why? Because Resolutions don’t work.
One of the first words that comes to my mind when I think of resolutions is one of the words on my least liked list. Should. Just typing it makes my brain scream “JUDGEMENT”. Needless to say, formulating a resolution on the basis of judgement whether internal or external is to me, not a great foundation for success or a self-esteem booster. A few of the most common resolutions like quitting smoking, going to the gym and eating more healthily are, at the very core, all about what you think you SHOULD do. We base these “should’s” on other people’s expectations or the constant media reminders that we need to “Lose the Flab to Be Fab by Summer” rather than what we really WANT to be doing. So what happens when a resolution is based on a “should”? Many don’t even make it past January because the initial motivation subsides and commitment goes out the window. When we base our resolutions without the foundation of real personal meaning, or as Simon Sinek would say without knowing your “Why” and instead we “should” ourselves into trying to make it happen, the initial burst of motivation that gets us started doesn’t stick around very long.
What about Goals?
Many times, “resolutionists” believe they need to set themselves goals and objectives to see things happen, but I think they’re missing the point. Such goals, in and of themselves, aren’t sustainable. Setting goals that lack personal meaning (there’s that “why” again) is essentially pointless. Resolutions are like goals in that they’re about getting more of something. You are basically putting a spotlight between where you are now and where you’d like to be, which instantly makes where you are right now a place you don’t want to be. The very nature of goals is focus on what’s next, never at what’s now and this can hurt your self-confidence and esteem. Once you reach a goal, what’s next? Gotta have another goal. Then another, then another. You are always chasing the next thing! When do you get to stop and just enjoy life right where you are?
January 1st come and goes. Very quickly, the decorations are put away, the revelry subsides and all of a sudden the realization that you now have a whole year stretching ahead of you and summer is 6 months off. When you’re well intentioned resolution isn’t based on real personal meaning, the motivation that you felt when you proclaimed your plan can begin to feel like a burden, real fast.
My question is, why wait all year to make a choice about something anyway? Why wait for one particular day to make a decision, when there are 364 other great decision-making days available to you?
Revolution Personal Evolution
For me, living a fulfilled life is not about making some grand yet half-hearted decisions that don’t really mean anything or proclaiming a BS resolution because we feel we “should”. I invite you to join me to flip the script on “Resolutions”. Instead, let’s greet the New Year with the warm embrace of Personal Evolution. Let us resolve to make confident choices EVERY DAY OF THAT YEAR that propel us forward towards the best version of ourselves based on things that are more meaningful, fundamental, and in alignment to what really matters to us, and jump in with both feet.
Who’s with me??
Are you ready to unleash your AWESOME? Email me anytime! firstname.lastname@example.org