Twas strolling through Costco and what did appear? Why a row full of trappings and holiday cheer! It’s just October I thought, we haven’t even carved our pumpkins yet! It seems every year the Holidays are upon us earlier and earlier and while some people I have met seem to glide through the season without a glitch, many of us find Holiday season the most wonderful stressful time of the year.  Well, I can’t promise all your stress can or will be alleviated, but, my tips below might help you navigate through some of the craziness and lead you to a more relaxing, enjoyable, and fun Holiday season.

1. Start today! Make a detailed list of all the things you need to do: for example, shopping, food, presents, decorations, or travel arrangements.  Keep you list handy and visible. Set “do by dates” and stick to them. For example, “gift shopping completed by December 12th” Remember, it is easier to achieve your goals by writing them down!
2. Sending out Holiday Cards?  Start writing your cards early too!
   Write a few cards and address envelopes each day and get them all ready for mailing in November.
3. Shop online. I was always anti online holiday shopping as I thought it seemed lazy to me. Life lesson, I was wrong!  Shopping online from the comfort of your own home helps to avoid the traffic and crowds and you’ll save time and money (online coupons, cyber sales, free shipping).
4. Don’t skip the gym. During the Holidays, your social calendar combined with everything else can seem overwhelming and exercise can be put on the back burner. Not to mention all the extra calories that may sneak up on you in the form of cookies, cakes, and confections!  Exercise is a great way to reduce stress and helps produce those fuzzy feel good endorphins which can help got you in the holiday spirit.
5. Carve out some “Me “time every day. Find 15 minutes you can dedicate to just you. Maybe go for a walk, or find a quiet place close your eyes and relax, listen to some music, meditate, read a book. Do something just for you that will be calming amidst the chaos.
6. Don't try to do too much. Invites, parties, events oh my! Fatigue, over scheduling, and taking on too many tasks will take their toll. Learn to say no and manage your time wisely. You will have more energy to enjoy the most important part of the season - friends and family.
7. Don’t forget to HAVE FUN! Remember this is your Holiday Season too. We get so caught up in making sure the Holidays are perfect for everyone around us it is so easy to forget about ourselves. Do things that make you happy, and you can share that joy with everyone around you.

 

1. If Disaster strikes…A few years ago, just about 15 minutes before my guests, including, in laws, out laws, friends, relatives and the last minute rsvp’s were to arrive at our home for Christmas dinner, I had pulled out my majestic turkey for a last minute basting. I left it on the oven rack and turned my back for a split second and BOOM. I heard the crash.  Horrified, I spun around and there on the floor was our Christmas dinner being voraciously devoured by my dogs Kingsley and Windsor. I didn’t have time for a meltdown, so with quick thinking and fast dialling I did what anyone would do, I drank a shot of bourbon and ordered Chinese food. My guests that day took it all in stride and we all had a fabulous time. Even better, the “Great Silva Turkey Incident” has gone down in infamy and it will be laughed about and bring beautiful and funny memories for many Christmases to come.
      

So here’s wishing you an amazing, stress free Holiday season!” May all your wishes be bright and may all your turkeys turn out right!”

Growing up in a tumultuous household, I was witness to and included in many a confrontational circumstance. For a long time, in my adult life, I think I was like most people and strived to avoid conflict and potentially stressful situations at all costs.  I found it easier to avoid communicating something that I thought may be controversial, and billed myself as the proverbial “Switzerland” carefully avoiding any and all difficult conversations. This was a great short term remedy as it alleviated my immediate stress but what began to happen though is I was letting myself ruminate over situations that bothered me and I began to feel even more frustrated, annoyed, anxious and stressed.
It happens all the time, in all kinds of relationships. A supervisor may hold off on telling an employee they are unhappy with their performance. A child may not tell their parents about the “F” they received on their schoolwork or you keep quiet to your partner or friend about something that is bothering you.
What I have learned, is that avoiding difficult conversations and allowing thigs to burn, boil and fester is counterproductive for everyone involved. By facing these conversations head on I have also learned that it’s true that “difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations”.
If you are having to face initiating a difficult conversation with a colleague, friend, partner or parent, I believe balance and sensitivity are key. I have also put together some tips that may help you to communicate your message in these difficult situations a little easier.
Your What and Why. You definitely want to have your facts straight before you start. Knowing what you are going to say and why you are going to say it is key. You also may want to try to anticipate any questions the other person may have and think about how you will answer.
Keep Calm and Carry On. It is so much easier to communicate when we are calm.  Before you begin, take some relaxing breaths and try to maintain that air of calmness throughout the conversation. Keep focused and try not to get diverted from the reason that you are communicating.
Empathize. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and think about how they will feel about what you are going to share with them and how you might  feel if the roles were reversed. You know your audience, so choose language that will resonate with you both. 
Stay the course. When you have decided that something needs to be communicated then do so. Do not let yourself back down or shrink away from the conversation.
Listen, Actively. Try to relax and listen carefully to the views, opinions and feelings of the other person. Give them time to ask questions and make comments.  Using, receive, repeat,respond techniques will demonstrate that you were listening.
Be aware of your body language. Speak clearly, give eye contact and try to sit or stand in a relaxed way. No crossed arms, pursed lips, or rolling eyes. Focus on the person you are speaking with and avoid any outside distractions.
Willingness to compromise.  Often the solution for a difficult situation can be reached by compromising.  Always try to strive for aim for a win-win outcome where everyone benefits.
So... If you have been avoiding those three little words, “we need to talk” as I was, and find yourself steering away from having difficult conversations,  I hope this article will help you navigate this road that we all find ourselves on from time to time and lead you to your beautiful destination.

Life can be extremely stressful. We all know it. Raising children, battling traffic day in and out, meeting your weekly goals whether at work or home, shopping, cleaning, cooking, socializing, the list goes on and on. Just managing your life contributes to a large amount of stress.
Most often, we handle all these situations with ease.  But once in a while something happens. Something you can’t put your finger on. Your radiant smile has lost its glimmer; the spring in your step is feeling flat. Maybe you’re more tired than normal and the usual 40 oz macchiato doesn’t seem to be doing its job. The job you love and have been doing with light and ease is feeling murky and difficult. You may ask yourself, “How did I get here?”
Are you crazy? Maybe a little. But your “good crazy” actually helps to keep you sane in this crazy world. Don’t despair, we all go through it. I have complied some tips below that will totally help you get back on track.  Not every tip will work for everyone, but if even just one of these things helps you, then this was definitely worth the read.
1.       Clear your head.  Often, negative thoughts start a snowball effect in our minds. Something like, I have 99 problems and 86 of them I have invented myself. If you feel the negativity creeping in,   go for a walk, or if you can, take a “mental health” day off.  Give yourself a “me” day simply to recharge and refresh.
2.       Read a good book. There are so many great, inspiring authors that are not only motivating  but will absolutely help to get you back on track. Oldies but goodies like John Maxwell, Brian Tracy, and of course Zig Ziglar come to mind. Newbies like Brendon Burchard, Simon Sinek and David Marquet are absolutely worth checking out.
3.       Exercise. Obviously, exercise is healthy but it also is a great way to improve your work attitude and increase your happiness because it not only enhances your energy but will improve your mood and absolutely reduce stress by releasing those warm and fuzzy endorphin's. I myself haven’t ever stepped into a gym (my husband is our daily gym rat) but we have started cycling on our days off and it really works! So take a walk, run, ride- whatever get that body moving!
4.       Lighten up! We are all guilty of being most critical of our own selves. Sometimes it is ok give yourself a break and not take things so seriously. Laughter truly is the best medicine, and as the adage says, if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me I’ll laugh at you!
5.       Meditate Of course meditate made it to my list and you’re probably saying to yourself right now “yup cross that one off- no time for that here” I gotcha, no worries. Yes, sitting quietly in a candle lit room smelling of sandalwood for an hour finding your Zen sounds awesome. If you have the time, great! There are some great tutorials to be found on YouTube to get you started. For the rest of us, meditation can be that 5 minutes you steal for yourself and find a quiet place close your eyes and just breathe. You can even tell yourself to “find my center” or find a positive phrase or mantra that works for you. Practice this when you can and believe me you will feel a difference.  Remember the key to meditation is not to control your thoughts, it is not allowing your thoughts to control you.
6.       Get Inspired. Different people are motivated in different ways by different things. Some people get motivated by loud music and others by scrolling the internet for inspirational quotes.  So find what inspires you and go do it, listen to it, read it-you get the idea.
7.       Find a Mentor. Is there someone either at work or in your personal life that you look up to? The most successful people do have the best of the best of the best as mentors. Learn as much as you possibly can from those who want to share their wisdom and are willing to lead you on your road to success.
 
So, if you find yourself overwhelmed or stressing out, I hope one or more of these tips have resonated with you.  Just remember, you are a Rock Star, the peaks and valleys of life are going to happen. So ride with the tide and shine your light!!!