Do you find yourself easily triggered by seemingly insignificant incidents? Do your emotions spiral out of control and take over your day? We have all been there at some point, and it can be exhausting to constantly battle your triggers. The good news is, is there is a technique that can help you overcome your triggers with ease – self-compassion.
 
In my experience as a transformational coach, I have seen firsthand how self-compassion can transform one's life. It’s a powerful tool that can help you navigate the ups and downs of life with ease.
 
What are triggers?
 
First, let's define what triggers are. Triggers are situations or events that cause an emotional response within us. These can include a tone of voice, a specific word or action, or even certain types of music. Triggers can be positive or negative, depending on the situation.
 
How does self compassion help?
 
When we experience a trigger, our natural response is often one of self-criticism or self-judgment. We may think, "Why did I react that way? I should know better!" or "I'm so stupid for feeling this way." However, self-compassion encourages us to approach our triggers with kindness and understanding.
 
By practicing self-compassion, we can reframe our thoughts about our triggers and reduce their impact. Instead of beating ourselves up for our emotional response, we can acknowledge our feelings and give ourselves the compassion we need to move forward.
 
So, how do we practice self-compassion? Here are a few tips:
 
1. Notice your thoughts: The first step is to become aware of your self-talk when you experience a trigger. What are you saying to yourself? Are you being kind or critical?
 
2. Show yourself kindness: Once you recognize any negative self-talk, talk to yourself as you would to a friend. Imagine what you would say to a friend in the same situation and give yourself that same kindness.
 
3. Accept your emotions: Instead of resisting or denying your emotions, allow yourself to feel them. Accept that it's okay to feel the way you do and that your emotions are valid.
 
4. Remember imperfection is normal: No one is perfect, and we all make mistakes. Remember that it’s okay to mess up sometimes and that it's an opportunity to learn and grow.
 
5. Seek support: Don't be afraid to reach out to friends, family, or a coach for support. Talking about your triggers with someone else can provide a fresh perspective and help you process your emotions.
 
Overcoming triggers can be a challenging journey, but with self-compassion, it is possible to navigate them with grace and ease. Remember to be kind to yourself, accept your emotions, and seek support when needed. You have the power to transform your life and reclaim your peace.

xox Genia 

When it comes to healing trauma,  I have seen a lot of topics come and go. However, there is one topic that seems to be more relevant now than ever before: somatic healing of trauma.
 
Trauma is an all-too-common experience that can have a lasting impact on our lives. Whether it's a single traumatic event or a prolonged history of abuse, trauma can be a significant obstacle to living a fulfilling life.
 
Somatic healing is a form of therapy that focuses on the body's physical sensations to help heal emotional wounds. By tuning into our physical sensations and working with them, we can begin to release and process the traumatic experiences that we have endured.
 
One of the key benefits of somatic healing is that it allows us to access parts of our experience that may be difficult to access through talk therapy alone. Traumatic experiences can often leave us disconnected from our bodies, which can make it challenging to process the emotions and sensations associated with the trauma. Somatic healing helps us to reconnect with our bodies and use physical sensations as an entry point into healing.
 
The techniques used in somatic healing can range from simple practices such as deep breathing to more complex exercises like yoga and mindfulness meditation. By cultivating awareness of our physical sensations and using techniques to help regulate our nervous system, we can begin to release the stored tension and trauma that is held in our body.
 
Somatic healing is a gentle and compassionate approach to healing. By working with an experienced somatic therapy practitioner and being open to the possibilities of healing through the body, we can unlock a new level of healing and begin to move beyond the limitations of our trauma.
 
In my experience, somatic healing is a powerful and effective approach to healing from trauma that deserves more attention. By tapping into the wisdom of our bodies and using physical sensations as a guide, we can begin to release the emotional and physical blocks that have been holding us back. So why not give somatic healing a try? You may be surprised at the profound and lasting transformation it can bring to your life.

Have you tried somatic healing  and would like to share your experience or are  you interested in learning more? I'd love to hear form you! xoxo Genia

Trauma can have a profound impact on our lives, leaving us feeling disconnected, anxious, and overwhelmed. Whether we've experienced a single traumatic event or years of ongoing trauma, the effects can be long-lasting and far-reaching. However, with the right tools, support, and mindset, it is possible to heal from trauma and move forward with greater resilience and inner strength.
The first step in healing from trauma is acknowledging its impact. Trauma can manifest in many ways, including physical symptoms such as headaches or stomach pain, emotional symptoms such as anxiety or depression, and behavioral symptoms such as avoidance or withdrawal. It's important to recognize that these symptoms are not a sign of weakness or failure, but rather a natural response to the trauma we've experienced.
Once we've acknowledged the impact of trauma on our lives, the next step is to seek out support. This may include working with a mental health professional, joining a support group, or connecting with trusted friends or family members. It's important to find a safe and supportive environment where we can share our experiences and emotions without fear of judgment or shame.
One important aspect of healing from trauma is developing self-care practices. This may involve engaging in activities that bring us joy and relaxation, such as exercise, meditation, or creative expression. It may also involve setting boundaries and learning to say no when we need to prioritize our own well-being.
Another important aspect of healing from trauma is developing greater self-compassion. Trauma can leave us feeling ashamed, guilty, or unworthy of love and care. However, by practicing self-compassion, we can learn to treat ourselves with kindness and understanding, recognizing that we are not to blame for the trauma we've experienced and that we deserve to heal and thrive.
Finally, healing from trauma is not a linear process. There may be setbacks and challenges along the way, and it's important to approach the journey with patience and self-acceptance. With the right tools, support, and mindset, however, it is possible to move beyond the effects of trauma and create a life that is fulfilling, meaningful, and full of joy.
In conclusion, healing from trauma is a complex and challenging journey, but it is one that is worth taking. By acknowledging the impact of trauma, seeking out support, developing self-care practices, and cultivating self-compassion, we can move beyond the effects of trauma and create a life that is full of hope, resilience, personal freedom and inner strength.
G.Silva 5.3.2023

Healing from trauma can be a long and difficult journey, but it is possible. If you're struggling with the effects of trauma, know that you're not alone. Please reach out  to us anytime for help and support.

 
Thanksgiving is a wonderful reminder that a life well lived is one full of gratitude and thankfulness. Here  are 3 easy ways to cultivate more gratitude in your life all year long!
 
1. Appreciate everything
Gratitude doesn’t have to be saved for the “big” things in life. The habit of being grateful starts with appreciating every good thing in life and recognizing that there is nothing too small for you to be thankful for. It can be as simple as appreciating the sunshine on your face or your delicious cup of coffee or tea.
2. Find gratitude in your challenges
As Aristotle said, “It is in our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.”
What this quote implies is that gratitude is not only about being thankful for our  positive experiences, sometimes our most challenging experiences can lead us to  discovering new levels of gratitude. Dig deep into some of your own past  or present experiences and look for that light. Many times,  you will find that the challenge or experience has led you to a deeper understanding of your  compassion, empathy , strength wisdom and more.
3. Practice mindfulness
Set some time aside every day to write down five to ten things you are grateful for. With each item on your list, picture it in your mind and sit with it until you can feel the feeling of gratitude in your body. “Sciency” Fun Fact! By doing this exercise every day will rewire your brain to be naturally more grateful!

​xox Genia
 
What is your favorite way to incorporate thankfulness into your every day?  Let us know, we would love to hear from you

 
‘Being present’ and ‘mindfulness’ are major buzzwords in self-improvement these days. And not without reason. Have you ever noticed how many things in a day you do automatically, with your mind wandering or elsewhere? We get dressed, we drive, we interact with our partners, eat, etc. all while thinking about something or someone else. We live so much of our lives on auto-pilot.
I know there are many definitions of mindfulness out there, some of them are lengthy and perhaps confusing, some make the practice seem complicated. It really doesn’t have to be.  There is no right or wrong way to do it, and you have all the tools already inside of you. 
Mindfulness is simply, paying attention on purpose to the present moment.
Practicing mindfulness allows us to slow down our racing thoughts and focus on only one thing at a time. You’re not clearing your mind or suppressing your thoughts. Rather, you are focusing your mind right here, right now and learning to accept your thoughts without judgment.
Here are a few quick, easy and fun mindfulness activities to get you started.  Play around with them, see which ones work for you. As you’re going through these actions, listen to your breath and focus on the task at hand. Pay attention to your surroundings and when your mind wanders(which it will), bring it back to the present, noting the things that you can hear, see, and feel.
• Take a deep breath.
• Show yourself compassion.
• Write in a journal.
• Stand in the sunshine.
• Move your body.
• Take a walk.
• Make a gratitude list.

If  you have any one minute mindfulness exercises you would like to share, I'd Love to hear them! xox GS

“Are you happy?”
“Not really…”
“Then, you are stupid?”
“No!”
“Happiness isn’t a choice. There are so many things that make us unhappy. There are people who break our hearts…”
“Is that what you believe, that things make you unhappy, that someone can break your heart?”
“Yes.”
“Someone can make you - force to be unhappy, really?”
“Yes. Does that sound stupid?”
“It sounds like you believe it.”
“I can’t help it. Life sucks.”
“Life is full of choices. Do you want to choose unhappiness?”
“If we really do have choices, then of course it would be stupid to choose unhappiness.”
“Exactly.”
“So, are you happy or are you stupid?”
Dialogue Adapted from The Toltec Art of Life and Death by Don Miguel Ruiz.

None of us believe that there are tiny light switches located inside of our skull and attached to our emotions that others can reach in and flip into the “on” or “off” setting. But we are conditioned to believe it is so. We are taught while we are young and then we reinforce those lessons through our language and our behaviors cause us to feel different ways.
We regularly hear and use phrases like:

“They broke my heart”
“She made me feel sad.”
“He made me angry.”
“They offended me.”

But these are false claims based upon absolutely no truth or factual reality. Why don’t we question other people when they make these statements? Why don’t we question ourselves when statements and ideas like these are offered by our internal voice?
Because it’s normal to say and hear phrases like these.
It’s what we learn as we grow up and we begin reinforcing our beliefs in these lessons by using these ideas through our language. Take another look at the dialog at the beginning. Consider the statement,
“Happiness isn’t a choice. There are so many things that make us unhappy. There are people who break our hearts…”
This is a couple of those commonly believed statements jammed into one claim. But can we choose to “be happy” and actually be happy? Not unless we first believe that we actually have a choice.
Do things actually make us unhappy or happy? Yes, if that is what we believe, but we can believe that we control our reaction to things. Again, we have to believe that we have an option first; otherwise we simply default into the mindset of what is socially common. While we are emotionally reacting to something, it isn’t the event or circumstance; it is the meaning we have created around it.
Do other people break our hearts? No, we break our own hearts and are then taught to blame the “other person”. Kyle Cease, comedian and motivational speaker, says that we believe in the meaning around a relationship that we are in and when it ends we might see it as a reflection of “who we are” and thus see ourselves as not worthy. So we are in effect breaking our own hearts by constructing our beliefs around what relationships mean to us. Even if our partner ends the relationship suddenly without explanation or begins a new relationship at the same time, we interpret their external action and react as if their actions cause an emotional response within us, but it is actually our own doing.
It is not just the choice of choosing happiness but the step towards owning the responsibility to choose. When we blame others for how we feel, or blame external circumstances for our internal feelings we are fundamentally giving up our responsibility to feel differently. By owning how we feel and seeing our internal states as a reaction to our beliefs or the resistance to what we don’t want to believe, we take the first step towards constructing our own happiness by taking back the power of choice.
Jesse Silva 7. 10.19

Jesse Silva, Monday, August 27, 2018
​
I am actively engaged in diminishing my Ego. I must stay aware of my feelings and reactions to things in my external world which insight my Ego and his many tools and to seek other responses for myself. Figuring out that how I feel at any moment is up to me; in that moment. Because this is true the actions of others don't hurt me, as my Ego would have otherwise lead me to think.
This means that I am no longer the center of my world. Instead I must behave and believe that I am connected with everything, but not more or less important. This is critical because if I see myself as less than important my Ego will grow to protect me. If I see myself as more important, then my Ego will grow to support that perception.  And being connected to everything is the only way to stay curious, learning, open and discover novel ways of seeing my life. Without complete connection I cannot see anything but what my Ego would falsely create for me to see.
Everything is connected, but it is in the connections that I must learn to grow. My relationships with anyone I know must be forged with a mindset of disciplined openness. I must see others with compassion and gratitude and imagine their best version, even when I don’t see it. I must remember that there are no Bad Intentions and the proof of this lies in the real fact that each person is doing the best that they can with what they’ve got at every moment. When I am lead astray from this real fact, it is because my Ego is strong if I let it grow to be, and it will always try to paint a grim picture of my life and the people who fill it.
Pain is the reminder for all of this. It exists and persists, but it is not an inevitable force of disheartenment, so I must choose to accept its existence but not to accept it as suffering. I must meet pain head on and use the compassion I have for myself to partner with it, so I can quiet it. I believe the alternative to pain is “to love”.
This is not a mere adjustment of my thoughts about myself in my world, it is seeking the truth inside of fear, anger and hate. The truth about them that I have found is that they have no reason to exist except as a reminder that my Ego would have me believe in them if I didn't believe in love.
I may not have achieved higher consciousness as I am not sure there is a way to tell. I do know that deep curiosity has helped me to see things this way. To continue to question everything seems to keep the journey going and along the way those things (fear, anger and hate) have fallen away as the needless and useless choices that they are.