At this very moment I am watching TV, checking my e-mail, Facebooking, reading an article about The Psychology of the Walking Dead, texting, and writing this blog.”
 
You see it everywhere, Ad's for new electronic "fix” touting the capability of using technology to accomplish several things at once. The "skill" of multitasking is a highly sought after attribute that can be found in many job postings and is widely used in the strengths sections of résumés. People pride themselves on being high-performing team players wearing the "I Am a Multitasker" badge loud and proud.
Guess what? It's BS. The human brain is not built to work this way. Recent revelations in brain research tell us that the brain doesn’t (and can't) really do multiple tasks simultaneously, as we once thought. Actually, all we are doing when we claim to multitask is just very quickly bouncing between tasks. Any time we move from answering the phone to texting, emailing or talking to someone, there is a stop/start process that goes on in the brain. 
 
That start-stop-start process is rough on us. Rather than saving time, it costs time (even very small micro seconds), it’s less efficient, we make more mistakes, and over time it can be energy sapping and lead to massive amounts of stress, burnout or depression. In the business world, where concerns about time-management are all the rage, warnings about workplace distractions borne from a multitasking culture are on the rise. Newer research is concluding that workers are taking an average of twenty-five minutes daily to recover from these numerous stop-start intervals, wow!
 
Our human brains were really built to focus. When we try to force ourselves to multitask, we are trying to get our brains to perform a task it cannot do for and we are becoming less efficient in the long run- even though it may feel like we’re “multitasking masters” the moment.
 
So what do we do? How do we break our addiction to this mythical activity in which people believe they can perform two or more tasks simultaneously? Like all addictions, it begins with an awareness. This awareness however starts from within. It begins very simply by replacing your multitasking mindset with a different “M” word; Mindfulness. Simply, for the purpose of this article, focusing your awareness on the present moment and on the task at hand. By incorporating mindfulness and paying attention moment by moment to where we are and what we’re doing, and focusing on one task at a time, mindfulness will help you think more clearly, be more efficient and less prone to stress or burnout.
 
Another idea would be for companies to stop using “Must Be Able to Multitask” in job listings and focus on qualities and skills that ARE humanly possible and can increase productivity like drive, motivation, ambition, passion, hustle… you get the idea- and watch your efficiencies rise while stress levels and employee burnout decline.  On the flip side if “Multitasker” is in your resume strengths section, get rid of it or replace it with “magical superpowers” because at least those might exist. When we all learn to embrace Mindfulness with the same vigor as we have for years with Multitasking, I would be excited to see where this journey will take us all personally, professionally, and as a global community.

 Written By Jesse Silva- Leadership Coach
Let these words echo in your mind, each day in as many moments as you can bear, until the day that they could be your life’s last thoughts. On that day you will be faced with a personal reckoning if you are fortunate enough to lie with your conscious mind. In those moments you will seek your regrets, your joyous memories or a buffet of them both.
Are you a disruptor? Do you seek the new, the unique or the novel in an attempt to create art born of emotional labor? Do you struggle against the tide of tedium, the onslaught of what’s always been or even cringe at the status quo? Do you ignore the Jones’ for the trendsetters that they are, wishing and plotting to avoid their home, their cars and possessions and irritated that they even exists?
If not then welcome to the pasture of life and enjoy your time with the sheep or your peers. The only expectation in this comfortable, easy and carefree life is that you’ll pay attention to the average, the merely normal and unambiguous detail of who you are supposed to be, act, think and feel. There’s no need in this place to figure anything out as the map of your path as been drawn, tested and forged in mediocrity. Such mediocrity is your reward and while tasteless, dull and lacking in surprise it is plentiful and easily served as often as you would like.

If that string of thoughts however, nauseates and churns your stomach, then it is not for you. And while you may not know what your life is supposed to be, what to be passionate about or who you want to become, being caught between the mundane and the unknown is an exciting place to be, if you have the right attitude. Be careful that your attitude doesn’t take on frustration in this special place. Be even more leery of complacency as that too will land you dizzily in the pasture amongst the other sheep. Instead, make the choice to get excited. Be “cheerleader, lottery winner, and college frat party” excited. For the place between being lost and repulsed by the norm lies the radically unaccepting. In this very place you are surrounded by disruption, chaos and sparkling innovation of ideas, thoughts and successes which cannot be defined ahead of time. It is the starting block of a race that has no lanes, no competition breathing and sweating next to you, nor a crowed shouting either for or against you. In this place all is possible and nothing ends in failure. It is optimism in its purest form because no action results in loss unless; you quit.
This is the hard path though. It is forged by your own steps and stepping just behind you is the Resistance. The Resistance will beg you to turn around; it will entice you with comfort and support to join it. Remember that if you do, you will simply return to its pasture. To stay true to the new path seek novelty, question everything and accept only that which is a challenge to you. If it is an easy choice between two options; you should feel no other choice, but to seek a third option.

We all have heard of the benefits of  daily affirmations, and how they can rewire our brains for a more positive mindset if practiced regularly . For example telling yourself "I am Strong, I am Successful, I am Healthy, or whatever phrase or mantra resonates with you, really will help you  to start your day on the right foot and keep you on track during the more stressful moments you invariably will encounter along the way.  I started doing my daily affirmations after a pretty serious medical episode 10 years ago and have been doing them every day since yet I do know,  that even though they work for me, "I Am" affirmations aren't for everyone. So, if the "I AM" affirmations are just not your style, or you're not feeling the results you desire,  here is a list of daily "Anti Affirmations" or "Will Not's" for you!

I will not ………. forget to dream.
I will not ………. act selfish towards others.
I will not ………. forget to take ACTION.
I will not ………. compare myself to others.
I will not ……….. take life for granted.
I will not ……….. hold resentments.
I will not ……….. ALLOW negativity.
I will not ……….. put others down.
I will not ……….. forget about my health- body, mind and spirit.
I will not ……….. forget to be thankful and mentor others.
I will not ……….. lose track of my goals, dreams and visions.
I will not ……….. forget to have FUN!!!

 Do you have anymore “Will Not’s” to add? Please share! I would love to hear them!

Are you ready to visualize your dreams into action? One of the best ways to do that is with a vision board. A vision board is an awesome tool that will help give you the clarity, direction and motivation to achieve your dreams, goals and your ideal life. I love vision boards and throughout my life they have helped me achieve many goals including rocking my closing ratios when I was a sales executve and, keeping me motivated and inspired during life’s less than wonderful moments and keeping focused and brave while  starting my own company.  
By creating a vision board that displays your goals, dreams and life vision, and placing it in a space where you see it often, no matter what happens during your day, your vision board is a positive reminder of where you intend to be. Appealing to you on both conscious and subconscious levels, a vision board is a super cool way to keep you motivated, focused on your goals, and headed in the direction you have chosen.
Creating Your Vision Board Q&A
What should I place on my Vision Board?   Anything that inspires and motivates you! Think about and make a list of what your goals are in the following areas- relationships, career, finances, travel, personal growth and health. Ask yourself, what does my ideal life look like? You can use your vision board for goals and dreams in all areas of your life, or in just one specific area that you want to focus on.
I have my list, now what?  Once you have your list, go ahead and start looking through magazines or even surf the internet for inspiring images and or empowering words that reflect your goals and collect them. Once you think you are set with these images, it’s time to assemble your board.
Does size matter? The size of your vision board does not matter. I have seen and even made boards as small as notebook paper and as large as a wall size banner. The choice is yours! You may use poster board, foam board (my favorite), cork board, side of a barn, whatever! Once you decide on your board, assemble your images. Make sure your board looks and feels right to you before gluing your images down.
My board looks and feels great, now what?  Now it’s time to find a place for your vision board where you will see it every day. (They don’t really work stuffed away in the basement) By seeing your board every day, you will be reinforcing your goals, direction and motivation while helping to keep you focused, even during challenges, bringing you closer to your dreams and your ideal life!
Need help with your vision board?  Contact me today for a schedule of my upcoming Vision Board Workshops or to schedule one near you today! gsilva@raindancelife.com

Have you ever thought to yourself, “Who Am I?” Don’t worry we all have. As you live life, you can begin to move further and further away from your true self and almost feel like life is living you…Eventually, you may feel that you’ve lost a sense of who you truly are. You are not alone.
One reason why I think people feel lost in life is because they live their lives based on what other people believe to be right for them.  They model their lives based on the thoughts, beliefs and ideas that have been passed down to them by their parents, family members, teachers, friends and society in general.  Because they never took the time to question the authenticity of those beliefs, and whether they had anything to do with who they really are, they continued to build, craft, mold and shape their lives based on what other people believe to be right.
Another common denominator I have found within the “lost ones” is that many of them are ruled by fear. Fear seems to overshadow every area of their lives. Fear seems to be present in their minds, in their hearts, in the work they do, in the decisions they make, in the relationships they have- pretty much in everything they do. They live in a constant state of fear, and they feel lost, disoriented, disconnected and very unhappy while believing every toxic thought that comes into their minds. Their entire sense of self becomes so easily based on these thoughts, it becomes more and more difficult to see the forest from the trees.
Growing up, my Father would often tell me “Show me your friends, and I’ll tell you who you are.” How does this influence someone feeling lost? Easy. They surround themselves with people who drag them down. When you are surrounded by people who are constantly whining, blaming, criticizing, gossiping and complaining, you absorb their fears, doubts and negativity, and you are very easily derailed from your life path.
Often, negative thoughts will start a snowball effect in our minds starting an avalanche of the who am I, lost, feelings. If you feel the negativity creeping in, go for a walk, or if you can, take a “mental health” day off. Or even better yet, go on an adventure! Whether it's a day trip, a “staycation” nearby, or a long drive to the mountains, get out there and explore. Away from the distractions of everyday life, this will give you the time to focus and really reconnect with yourself again. I promise, when you come back you will have far more clarity than you had when you started.
As we grow up, it is so easy to lose sight of ourselves and how amazing life can be because we get overwhelmed by all sorts of pressures and responsibilities. We tend to let life happen to us rather than making life happen for us. In a perfect world, what would you love to be, have, or do? By reconnecting with your dreams (or maybe even coming up with new ones) and making a commitment to yourself that you will do what you love, you'll have the desire, inspiration and motivation to begin and suddenly you will be well on your way to finding yourself again.
We all get lost from time to time, it’s all part of this awesome adventure called life. We are all learning and growing and changing every day. Growth doesn't happen by staying in the bubble of your comfort zone where everything is familiar. The key is using your experiences to grow.  And with each experience, you move forward not backward.  You become stronger and wiser.  By immersing yourself fully and mindfully into every experience and every interaction , you will have  much easier time getting yourself back on your path when you feel your footing may be beginning to slip.  

Life can be extremely stressful. We all know it. Raising children, battling traffic day in and out, meeting your weekly goals whether at work or home, shopping, cleaning, cooking, socializing, the list goes on and on. Just managing your life contributes to a large amount of stress.
Most often, we handle all these situations with ease.  But once in a while something happens. Something you can’t put your finger on. Your radiant smile has lost its glimmer; the spring in your step is feeling flat. Maybe you’re more tired than normal and the usual 40 oz macchiato doesn’t seem to be doing its job. The job you love and have been doing with light and ease is feeling murky and difficult. You may ask yourself, “How did I get here?”
Are you crazy? Maybe a little. But your “good crazy” actually helps to keep you sane in this crazy world. Don’t despair, we all go through it. I have complied some tips below that will totally help you get back on track.  Not every tip will work for everyone, but if even just one of these things helps you, then this was definitely worth the read.
1.       Clear your head.  Often, negative thoughts start a snowball effect in our minds. Something like, I have 99 problems and 86 of them I have invented myself. If you feel the negativity creeping in,   go for a walk, or if you can, take a “mental health” day off.  Give yourself a “me” day simply to recharge and refresh.
2.       Read a good book. There are so many great, inspiring authors that are not only motivating  but will absolutely help to get you back on track. Oldies but goodies like John Maxwell, Brian Tracy, and of course Zig Ziglar come to mind. Newbies like Brendon Burchard, Simon Sinek and David Marquet are absolutely worth checking out.
3.       Exercise. Obviously, exercise is healthy but it also is a great way to improve your work attitude and increase your happiness because it not only enhances your energy but will improve your mood and absolutely reduce stress by releasing those warm and fuzzy endorphin's. I myself haven’t ever stepped into a gym (my husband is our daily gym rat) but we have started cycling on our days off and it really works! So take a walk, run, ride- whatever get that body moving!
4.       Lighten up! We are all guilty of being most critical of our own selves. Sometimes it is ok give yourself a break and not take things so seriously. Laughter truly is the best medicine, and as the adage says, if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me I’ll laugh at you!
5.       Meditate Of course meditate made it to my list and you’re probably saying to yourself right now “yup cross that one off- no time for that here” I gotcha, no worries. Yes, sitting quietly in a candle lit room smelling of sandalwood for an hour finding your Zen sounds awesome. If you have the time, great! There are some great tutorials to be found on YouTube to get you started. For the rest of us, meditation can be that 5 minutes you steal for yourself and find a quiet place close your eyes and just breathe. You can even tell yourself to “find my center” or find a positive phrase or mantra that works for you. Practice this when you can and believe me you will feel a difference.  Remember the key to meditation is not to control your thoughts, it is not allowing your thoughts to control you.
6.       Get Inspired. Different people are motivated in different ways by different things. Some people get motivated by loud music and others by scrolling the internet for inspirational quotes.  So find what inspires you and go do it, listen to it, read it-you get the idea.

• So, if you find yourself overwhelmed or stressing out, I hope one or more of these tips have resonated with you.  Know that you are not alone. Many people I work with that were stuck in a rut have become clearer about reaching new goals and have had great successes in our coaching sessions leading to new insights and motivation.   .

While taking a break in between prep cooking for tomorrow, sitting in the sun overlooking our beautiful farm and it occurs to me that twenty years ago today I was also prep cooking for what was then my first shot at Thanksgiving dinner. I look back on that day and I have to laugh as there I stood, I myself fat as a turkey (I was pregnant at the time) chopping, slicing, dicing and really having no idea what I was doing but loving every minute of it. Somehow the turkey and all the trimmings turned out beautifully that year (thank you, Angels) and on the heels of that success I am now embarking on my 20th Thanksgiving feast. Twenty years of turkeys. That just amazes me. Just uttering that out loud sounds strange to me. And I sit here today, between prepping, slicing and dicing as I did so long ago, my thoughts floating around like leaves on a November breeze and you know what? It’s been a good run.  
In the past twenty years, I have loved and have been loved deeply. I have suffered losses that have scarred me. I have brought a beautiful shining soul into this world, and I have also danced with death. I have made many mistakes yet have had many triumphs. I have met the most wonderful people along the way and also the most heinously awful.  I have feared, hated, forgave and cried many tears of laughter, joy, sadness and pain. I have grown.
 Right here, right now, on my porch in the sun I know I wouldn’t change a thing. Not any of it.  Every path and experience I have encountered along this “Twenty Turkey Run” has led to this very blissful moment.  And as the memories flow though me, the good, the bad and the ugly, I am so very grateful. I am grateful to have truly experienced this magnificent, terrible, amazing, awful, joyous, painful, exciting, scary, loving, hating, gorgeous, beautiful life that I have not only lived, but have learned to embrace and I am very excited to see what my next twenty turkeys will bring.

“Is there coaching on basic charisma? There are some people that just ooze charisma, seemingly naturally. But can something like that be taught?” This was a question I was presented with recently.
 
Merriam‑Webster defines charisma as. 1. a personal magic of leadership arousing special popular loyalty or enthusiasm for a public figure  2. a special magnetic charm or appeal.  Most often, we view someone who is charismatic possessing traits such as being fascinating, charming, interesting, captivating, engaging, and magnetic. But are charismatic people just naturally born with it? Can charisma be learned, cultivated?
My unwavering answer is an absolute YES and YES. While I believe some people are naturally more charismatic than others I do also know the fundamental traits that make up charisma can absolutely be  coached, learned and developed. By cultivating your charisma you will not only improve your potential for success in any endeavor, but you will also strengthen your relationships both in your personal and professional arenas.
 If you are reading this and thinking you may not have been bestowed with innate charismatic flair and are interested in developing or increasing your charisma, one way is by observing and learning from people who you think have charisma and you will soon notice some common characteristics that you can easily master.  Below are a few of these basic characteristic traits look for and how they can be developed.

• Confidence- Charismatic people are confident in a positive way, without being arrogant.
• Optimistic- Charismatic people are the encouragers who motivate with enthusiasm.
• Approachable- Charismatic people are warm and inviting
• Interested- Charismatic people are good listeners, they are interested in what people have to say.
• Interesting-Charismatic people are adept at communicating clearly and are able to keep their audience attention.
• Consistent- Charismatic people are comfortable with who they are and they are consistent.
   

So if you are looking to increase your success in your relationships, both personal and professional, developing your charisma (whether you’re a natural or you need a little fine tuning) is a great easy way to start.