“Our greatest fear should not be of failure, but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.”
Before we get to the list. It’s important to remember that staying stuck in regret offers you nothing but suffering . By ruminating over regret, we are allowing the past to dictate our present. The good new is, is that we we can use the past as a reference point to understand and make adjustments as we move forward. We are learning all the time, and it is very easy to get yourself stuck in the swampy bog of regret. When it comes to making changes, you are always one decision away from a totally different life. Allow yourself to be at peace with the past and remember that each moment can be a new beginning.
Below is a list of the 5 Greatest Regrets of the Dying created by Austrailian palliative nurse Bronnie Ware.
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself. Not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
3. I wish I had the courage to truly express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
LIfe is a choice. It is your life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, and choose honestly. Choose happiness.
This excellent list is mirrored from the original posted at Bronnie Ware's website. Based on this article, Bronnie has released a full length book titled The Top Five Regrets of the Dying - A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing. It is a memoir of her own life and how it was transformed through the regrets of the dying people she cared for.
Indigo Children are very sensitive to the energy balances in their environments. This can cause a wide range of reactions in their emotions, and be quite debilitating in quality of life. Experiencing these peaks and valleys can be very trying, whether you are a parent, teacher, or caregiver of one of these gifted children. Empowering our Indigo kids is extremely important for their future thriving in the world.
Some common traits of Indigo Children:
1. They come into the world with a feeling of royalty (and often act like it).
2. They have a deep understanding of empathy for others and are surprised when others don't share that.
3. They have difficulty with absolute authority (authority without explanation or choice).
4. They simply will not do certain things; for example, waiting in line is difficult for them.
5. They get frustrated with systems that are ritually orientated and don't require creative thought.
6. They often see better ways of doing things, both at home and in school, which makes them seem like non-conformists.
7. They seem antisocial unless they with their own kind.
8. They will not respond to "guilt" discipline ("Wait until your father gets home and finds out what you did").
9. Often express anger outwardly rather than inwardly and may have trouble with rage.
10. Refuse to follow orders or directions.
11. Get bored rather easily with assigned tasks.
12. Are gifted and/or talented, highly intelligent.
13. Get frustrated by ritual-oriented systems that require little creativity.
Like all Children, Indigo Kids need our support to discover themselves. Here are some easy ways to deepen the connection with the Indigo Child in your life while leading them to be their best selves at home, at school and beyond.
1. Respect them
2. Give choices
3. Give them freedom to develop, balanced with supervision and safety limits.
4. Do set limits to protect them, but not arbitrary ones.
5. Tell reasons and explain why.
6. Give them complete explanations to the level they will be able to understand.
7. Do not talk down to them.
8. Be honest with your children. Tell the truth. They will know if you are not.
9. Don’t try to manipulate them. It won't work.
10. Don’t use guilt, fear or hate as a controlling tool.
11. Be fair and also be consistent. If you say no, make sure you have a good reason and don't give in.
12. Admit when you make mistakes.
13. Respect any psychic skills they develop or share with you, even if you do not understand them.
14. Be open to learning from them.
Breathing: the breath moves energy throughout the body. When Indigo Children are frustrated, scared, hyper, or generally upset, you can ask them to take a moment. Have them stop what they are doing and breathe deeply by inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth. You can tell them to really exert the out blow, like they are blowing their anger. Make it a fun game, and even do it with them.
Wow! I don't know about you but winter this year seemed to last foreeevvveer! Super excited for longer days, warmer nights, bonfires and garden parties! Starting to see some see greenery and spring flowers pop up here and there on the farm.
Spring is the season of new growth, and the signs of change are all around us. Flowers decorating parks and lawns, the days are longer, brighter and warmer, and our moods are lifted by the extra sunshine warmer temperatures.
Springtime is seen as a time of growth, renewal, of new life being born, and of the cycle of life once again starting. As bonus,we begin to feel less sluggish, and become more open to inviting changes,both big and small into our lives.
For me, spring is all about opportunity . It's a time to cultivate our qualities of courage and optimism, boosting up belief in ourselves and our powers to overcome obstacles. Sometimes, the largest hurdle can be our own fears, which prevent us from taking risks and stepping into the unknown.
It may be helpful to remember Fear is just your brain telling you that there is something important for you to overcome.
As the days grow longer and warmer, savor them. Try to hold on to that sense of newness and renewal so that you can tap into that renewed strength and optimism throughout the year.
Stop! If you’re thinking about hiring a Life Coach, take a quick pause and ask yourself a few questions first. Yes, Life Coaching can help you launch your life to the next level both professionally and personally, but sometimes it just doesn’t work out. So before you pick up that phone, check out these reasons not to hire a Life Coach.
You’re comfortable in your “stuckness”.
If you’re not interested in seeing past your limitations and want to stay in the uncomfortable labels you have adopted for yourself; being poor, not worthy, stuck in a rut, shy, anxious, etc. then a coach is definitely not for you.
You’re not willing to change.
The mere act of hiring a coach will not solve your problems. You need to be committed to making changes. For example, just reading a book about cooking, will not automatically result in you becoming that amazing chef unless make certain adjustments of how you do things. You have to want to do things differently to make it happen.
You don’t want to take action.
If you are frustrated and want to get to somewhere you are not, showing up to a coaching session every week just to talk about your problems will absolutely get you nowhere, fast! In between coaching sessions, you have be willing to do the work and take action. The more action you engage in, the greater your results!
You’re under the impression a coach is a therapist.
Generally, therapists are more “process” oriented. In therapy, you talk at length about your problems, explore your feelings, and why you might be acting the way you do. Coaching, by comparison is much more success driven. The idea is to get a clear understanding of your current situation, define your vision and in the shortest amount of time bridge the gap to get concrete and measurable results. The coach’s goal is to help you free yourself from limiting beliefs, create new beliefs that are in alignment with your vision and goals, define new strategies, take immediate action and produce life lasting results.
You are looking for someone else to “fix” you.
Most good life coaches will absolutely not tell you how to ‘fix’ your life. They won’t tell you what course you should enroll in, what job you should get, whether you should get a divorce, or what your life purpose is. Instead, your life coach will ask you powerful questions that will get you to think differently, be open to new ideas, and trigger moments of clarity and insight. Until you’re ready to dive deep into the land of self-awareness-the good, bad and the ugly, then coaching may not be for you.
Coaching is not for everyone and especially not for the faint of heart. A Life Coach will push you outside your comfort zone, past your limiting beliefs and emotions and help you to get moving again. If you enter into a coaching relationship with your eyes wide open, it will be a fantastic journey. With the support of a good life coach, you will be the hero of your own story and discover the power that is already inside of you.
At this very moment I am watching TV, checking my e-mail, Facebooking, reading an article about The Psychology of the Walking Dead, texting, and writing this blog.”
You see it everywhere, Ad's for new electronic "fix” touting the capability of using technology to accomplish several things at once. The "skill" of multitasking is a highly sought after attribute that can be found in many job postings and is widely used in the strengths sections of résumés. People pride themselves on being high-performing team players wearing the "I Am a Multitasker" badge loud and proud.
Guess what? It's BS. The human brain is not built to work this way. Recent revelations in brain research tell us that the brain doesn’t (and can't) really do multiple tasks simultaneously, as we once thought. Actually, all we are doing when we claim to multitask is just very quickly bouncing between tasks. Any time we move from answering the phone to texting, emailing or talking to someone, there is a stop/start process that goes on in the brain.
That start-stop-start process is rough on us. Rather than saving time, it costs time (even very small micro seconds), it’s less efficient, we make more mistakes, and over time it can be energy sapping and lead to massive amounts of stress, burnout or depression. In the business world, where concerns about time-management are all the rage, warnings about workplace distractions borne from a multitasking culture are on the rise. Newer research is concluding that workers are taking an average of twenty-five minutes daily to recover from these numerous stop-start intervals, wow!
Our human brains were really built to focus. When we try to force ourselves to multitask, we are trying to get our brains to perform a task it cannot do for and we are becoming less efficient in the long run- even though it may feel like we’re “multitasking masters” the moment.
So what do we do? How do we break our addiction to this mythical activity in which people believe they can perform two or more tasks simultaneously? Like all addictions, it begins with an awareness. This awareness however starts from within. It begins very simply by replacing your multitasking mindset with a different “M” word; Mindfulness. Simply, for the purpose of this article, focusing your awareness on the present moment and on the task at hand. By incorporating mindfulness and paying attention moment by moment to where we are and what we’re doing, and focusing on one task at a time, mindfulness will help you think more clearly, be more efficient and less prone to stress or burnout.
Another idea would be for companies to stop using “Must Be Able to Multitask” in job listings and focus on qualities and skills that ARE humanly possible and can increase productivity like drive, motivation, ambition, passion, hustle… you get the idea- and watch your efficiencies rise while stress levels and employee burnout decline. On the flip side if “Multitasker” is in your resume strengths section, get rid of it or replace it with “magical superpowers” because at least those might exist. When we all learn to embrace Mindfulness with the same vigor as we have for years with Multitasking, I would be excited to see where this journey will take us all personally, professionally, and as a global community.
Written By Jesse Silva- Leadership Coach
Let these words echo in your mind, each day in as many moments as you can bear, until the day that they could be your life’s last thoughts. On that day you will be faced with a personal reckoning if you are fortunate enough to lie with your conscious mind. In those moments you will seek your regrets, your joyous memories or a buffet of them both.
Are you a disruptor? Do you seek the new, the unique or the novel in an attempt to create art born of emotional labor? Do you struggle against the tide of tedium, the onslaught of what’s always been or even cringe at the status quo? Do you ignore the Jones’ for the trendsetters that they are, wishing and plotting to avoid their home, their cars and possessions and irritated that they even exists?
If not then welcome to the pasture of life and enjoy your time with the sheep or your peers. The only expectation in this comfortable, easy and carefree life is that you’ll pay attention to the average, the merely normal and unambiguous detail of who you are supposed to be, act, think and feel. There’s no need in this place to figure anything out as the map of your path as been drawn, tested and forged in mediocrity. Such mediocrity is your reward and while tasteless, dull and lacking in surprise it is plentiful and easily served as often as you would like.
If that string of thoughts however, nauseates and churns your stomach, then it is not for you. And while you may not know what your life is supposed to be, what to be passionate about or who you want to become, being caught between the mundane and the unknown is an exciting place to be, if you have the right attitude. Be careful that your attitude doesn’t take on frustration in this special place. Be even more leery of complacency as that too will land you dizzily in the pasture amongst the other sheep. Instead, make the choice to get excited. Be “cheerleader, lottery winner, and college frat party” excited. For the place between being lost and repulsed by the norm lies the radically unaccepting. In this very place you are surrounded by disruption, chaos and sparkling innovation of ideas, thoughts and successes which cannot be defined ahead of time. It is the starting block of a race that has no lanes, no competition breathing and sweating next to you, nor a crowed shouting either for or against you. In this place all is possible and nothing ends in failure. It is optimism in its purest form because no action results in loss unless; you quit.
This is the hard path though. It is forged by your own steps and stepping just behind you is the Resistance. The Resistance will beg you to turn around; it will entice you with comfort and support to join it. Remember that if you do, you will simply return to its pasture. To stay true to the new path seek novelty, question everything and accept only that which is a challenge to you. If it is an easy choice between two options; you should feel no other choice, but to seek a third option.
I am loving the new research on Power Posing (Thank you Amy Cuddy) and I totally agree that holding one's body in a "high-power" pose for a short time can summon an extra surge of power confidence and sense of well-being.
The most well–known high power pose is nicknamed “The Wonder Woman” pose. Ok Guys, you can call it the “Superman” pose. You simply stand tall with your chest out and your hands on your hips. Pretty simple, huh?
I love a good Power Pose in the Morning. Each morning, wake up and stand in a high power pose for two minutes. While doing that, close your eyes and breathe in deeply for a count of 3, hold for 1, and then breathe out fully for a count of 5. In this way, you can combine breathing exercises, meditation, and power poses for a relaxing and confidence boosting start to the day.
C’mon try it! It takes just 2 minutes, just 120 seconds. It’s kind of hard to say you don’t have time for it.
You don’t have to limit your Poses to you morning routine. Power Poses can be helpful during your day as well. If you’re feeling stressed, take a few minutes before your next presentation, interview, meeting, or difficult conversation and find a comfortable spot (maybe a nearby restroom if you’re in public and worried of being spotted rocking your pose) and take a moment to adjust your posture and stand in a powerful position.
What do you think? Are power poses something you have used? Have you been doing them without even knowing it? Thinking about giving it a try? I’d love to hear your comments!
This is a challenge. If you are reading this then it is a challenge for you. I am dragging my foot in the sand between you and I and I am taunting you to step across that line. My eyes are focused and peering into your eyes and I have a sheepish grin purposely etched into my face.
Be radically honest with me. Don't be afraid, don't hide behind your easy-button social excuses, just tell me what you really think. I know that you will have a more difficult time in telling me what you really think, than I will have in hearing it. And I will really hear it as I am critically focused on your words, your behavior and your actions as you divulge that morsel of thought and opinion.
Why is it easier for me to receive than it is for you to give? It's actually very simple although it may seem counterintuitive to you. I am not afraid of learning how I can be a better person and I know that your perception of me may give me crucial insights towards making that happen, or you might be wrong. Either way, I am in control of how I feel and react to what you say. If this challenge unfolds and you actually step across that line, I am in control. That's why I can present this challenge in the first place.
I believe that radical honesty (aka; transparency, being real, being true to you) is the culture of the future. I believe that the same way the Internet changed our information based lives and technology changes what we do, radical honesty will eventually permeate our cultures at home, the office and on the street allowing us to get passed the common social bullshit that we all use right now. I just can't wait so I want to push the 10X button on this machine and make it happen now.
Now, before anyone misunderstands the nature of this radical honesty and starts to believe that I am suggesting hurtful, brutal and angry thoughts being tossed about at one another, what I am suggesting is actually far from it. Radical honesty should be earned or asked for, or both. The value of being honest to any degree weighs heavily upon the level of trust between two people. If there is strong trust and radical honesty is an option then it should be given with the level of compassion and empathy that exists between two people with a solid base of trust between them.
I can listen to anything you say to me if I know you are telling me your truth (aka; radical honesty). I don’t have to agree with you, nor do I have to do anything with your thoughts or words. I just need to honor your honesty, be accepting to it and maybe thanking you. In the reverse; I can tell you exactly how I feel because you won’t react as if being judged. You don’t have to agree with me or take any action in response to my words. We can also end our discussion with not agreeing with each other and we can walk away without being hurt or angry.
Radical honesty is a wave of the future and I believe that one day we’ll find ourselves looking into each other’s eyes, speaking our truth and feeling completely normal about it. Today, we spend times in our own head wondering if people are telling us any part of the truth, maybe the whole truth or none of it all. What would it be like if you could trust everything you were being told by the people around you that you shared trust with? It’s a real question and one worth answering with a radically honest answer, starting today. Why wait?
We all have heard of the benefits of daily affirmations, and how they can rewire our brains for a more positive mindset if practiced regularly . For example telling yourself "I am Strong, I am Successful, I am Healthy, or whatever phrase or mantra resonates with you, really will help you to start your day on the right foot and keep you on track during the more stressful moments you invariably will encounter along the way. I started doing my daily affirmations after a pretty serious medical episode 10 years ago and have been doing them every day since yet I do know, that even though they work for me, "I Am" affirmations aren't for everyone. So, if the "I AM" affirmations are just not your style, or you're not feeling the results you desire, here is a list of daily "Anti Affirmations" or "Will Not's" for you!
I will not ………. forget to dream.
I will not ………. act selfish towards others.
I will not ………. forget to take ACTION.
I will not ………. compare myself to others.
I will not ……….. take life for granted.
I will not ……….. hold resentments.
I will not ……….. ALLOW negativity.
I will not ……….. put others down.
I will not ……….. forget about my health- body, mind and spirit.
I will not ……….. forget to be thankful and mentor others.
I will not ……….. lose track of my goals, dreams and visions.
I will not ……….. forget to have FUN!!!
Do you have anymore “Will Not’s” to add? Please share! I would love to hear them!
Certified Life Coach, Author and Motivational Speaker.